Wuxi China Expatdom Royal Navy Fred Astaire docks at Hans Island.

The WCERN Aircraft Carrier Fred Astaire, carrying the former King of Wuxi and the WCE Contingent that captured him, has arrived at the pier of Canada’s Han Island. The process of putting the Ayatollah of Mordor in the Guantanamo 2 Detention Facility and preparing him for his trail has begun.

Admiral Lloyd Bridges, commander of the Fred Astaire, said the process is onerous but necessary. “We have to do a full body search, checking all orifices, for hidden chocolate and lard, that the Ayatollah may have on his person. We have to remove the Ayatollah’s old clothing which is toxic, and put him in special self-cleaning prison garb that the scientists of the WCERN have specially developed for this occasion. It will be years before this clothing can be found on retail markets. The maximum security cell that the Ayatollah will be detained in will be spartan in nature. It will have a television but it won’t be used to played grade “b” science fiction films — this is part of the process of civilizing the Ayatollah for his trail. The Ayatollah claims to hear voices from the planet Zortar calling him. We are also looking for lawyers willing to defend him in the trail. Members of O.J. Simpson’s Dream Team as well as William Kunstler have been asking to see the Ayatollah. The Wuxi China Expatdom contingent of King Gorzo the Mighty, Ayira: The Chosen One, Chief Inspector Harry Callahan, and Gambay’s Pub owner Fred Minkleman are overseeing the process. Once they are satisfied that everything is in order, they plan on returning to the Wuxi China Expatdom on the Fred Astaire. WCE Police Commissioner Blakelock will then be in charge of Guantanamo 2.”


About wuxiandis

An English Teacher in Wuxi, China. Married to a local girl. Father of a boy born August 23, 2007.
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