A Boxing match between heavyweights Bruiser Phelps, a Wuxi Expat from Yorkshire, England, and Knuckles McGilroy, a Wuxi Expat from Hoboken, USA, was marred by Pacifism. The SRO crowd, of 20,000 at the Conference Room “B” of Gambay’s Pub, expecting a match full of furious hooks, fantastic haymakers, jarring jabs, and other forms of pure pugilism, was instead treated to a rendition of Kumbaya, sung by the two boxers, their trainers, and the referee, as they all held hands and hugged each other for fifteen rounds.
The boxers were sorry to see that the crowd didn’t join them. Phelps asked where the love was. McGilroy said violence was bad.
The spectators, had no luck, in finding Fred Minkleman, owner of Gambay’s, from whom they were hoping to demand a refund. Minkleman, they learned, was in Winnipeg, Canada attending a seminar on bar tending in flood situations.
The spectators, were then thwarted in their attempts to riot in the 1912 Bar District, as they were attacked by feral Baboons and huge Elephants that have been released, a few weeks ago, in the Bar District in hopes of attracting the Safari Tourist trade.