Four Wuxi China Expats say they are the best of pals.

Four long-time Wuxi Expats said, in an interview with Orient Express, that they have been the best of pals for over ten years now. Sir Guy Rogers, an Expat from England, Omar O’Rodriguez from Mexico, Hans Klung from Germany, and Hammering Hank Schram from the Texas, USA, call themselves the Gang of Four. Rogers, acting as spokesman for the Gang, says they have done some real crazy things in their time in Wuxi.

Asked about some of the Gang’s exploits, Rogers said there were so many to mention, but that his favorite incident had to have been the time, he sent the three other gang members on a boat ride up the Grand Canal. "I siphoned most of the gas out of the tank, and they ended up stranded for months. O’Rodriguez’s wife had him legally declared dead and married me! You should have seen the look on O’s face when he learned what happened. Eventually, the lawyers were able to rearrange it so it was like it had been before. But there was nothing they could have been done about the honeymoon! Ha Ha Ha!"

O’Rodriguez talked of the time he Hans Klung got drunk and they shaved off all his body hair. "Senor Klung, he didn’t notice until he came to work. His boss, being a strict no-nonsense guy threatened to send him back to East Germany. Oh, how the other three of us laughed!"

Hans Klung talked of when he, as a joke, got Schram a date with a female impersonator. "They got on smashingly for months. Meanwhile, Schram was bragging about the sex he was having. And the rest of the gang really didn’t have the heart to tell him. And he then said he was going to marry her, and we got really worried. But then the marriage happened, and but two days later it was annulled. And then we had big hearty Bavarian knee-slapping laughs. Oh ho ho ho!"

Schram recalled the time he secretly recorded Sir Guy one weekend. "He did and said things that were exceedingly frank and coarse, and when I put them on the Internet, he lost his job, reputation, and his marriage…. You should have seen the look of incomprehension of his face when it all came down! Oh boy! It was hard for the other three of us to contain our laughter!"

"Yes Indeed!" said Sir Guy, "You can see we are the best of pals. Through thick and thin, we have hardly let each other down. When push comes really to shove, we stand together like birds of a feather. We rarely say bad things about each other behind the other’s back. And any tension we do have is creative. I look forward, with gusto and relish, to the menace, all in good fun, that we will do this weekend."


About wuxiandis

An English Teacher in Wuxi, China. Married to a local girl. Father of a boy born August 23, 2007.
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